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Posts Tagged ‘White people’

A Look at Why Interracial Relationships Are Expected to Be Between Black Men and White Women

In Opinion on January 2, 2012 at 6:00 am

This is an interesting piece on why interracial relationships (or just the term “interracial” alone) conjures up images of black men and white women.

Certainly, it’s true that if you Google the term “interracial” in Google Images, most images will be of black men and white women; and I think part of this is simply because most interracial relationships are between black men and white women. Another part of this seeming puzzle, is that Ralph Richard Banks (author of the much-piloried bestseller “Is Marriage for White People?”) is correct in his reasoning that interracial relationships between black women and white men simply are not occurring at any kind of statistical significance. Statistically, black women are “sitting shiva,” while their mirror opposite in the dating realm takes the lead role in real life, mass media, and apparently public perception.

This piece from BlackYouthProject.com suggests that part of the reason public perception toward interracial relationships (more prominently romantic ones) focus on black men and white women is that mass media depicts images of black men that are positive and upbeat while images of black women in mass media are mostly negative or denigrating.

While it’s encouraging to see black women kicking butt in films such as “Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol” and the upcoming James Bond flick (where Ms. Moneypennybecome a gun-toting sista who can hold her own with 007), it’s also true that positive and uplifting imagery of black wome

Two women wearing bandanas, 1999.

Image via Wikipedia.

n in mass media dwarf compared to those of black males. So, yeah, I agree with their point, but feel that it’s also just the tip of the proverbial ice-berg.

Here’s their insightful piece:


Blacks Need to Reinvent Marriage

In Main Event, News, Opinion on December 24, 2011 at 5:50 pm
English: Iman and David Bowie at the 2009 Trib...

Image via Wikipedia. Does Iman know she's ain't supposed to be hanging with Bowie?

English: Robert De Niro and his wife Grace Hig...
Image via Wikipedia. What’s going on here with Bobby D?

According to Dalton Conley, a sociologist and dean of social sciences at New York University, author of “Elsewhere USA,” and writer/blogger for the great New York Times, black people in America need to “reinvent” the institution of marriage.

For many, Mr. Conley is merely stating the obvious, but as a credentialed and professional sociologist repeating what Ralph Richard Banks said in his bestseller “Is Marriage for White People?,” his opinion is just one more in a chorus of informed and educated professors stating that black women remain statistical outliers in terms of turning their backs on interracial marriage as a whole and as a practice while black men leave them en masse.

Of course it’s everyone’s individual right and choice to do with their lives as they please, and if black women in America as a whole wish to remain single that’s fine, as Tracee Ellis Ross said in a previous piece.

Anyway, here’s a direct link to that piece:

And here’s a brief redux of Ralph Richard Banks’ comments from his bestseller that’s ticked off so many people, but his comments nonetheless are fairly straightforward, factual, and devoid of opinion:

So, what is it that ticks off so many people? That Mr. Banks dares to state the obvious and thereby airs some kind of secret dirty laundry the masses shouldn’t talk about? Is it racism, stigma, or just resistance to logical suggestions at helpful change?

Debunking the Single Black Female Myth

In Opinion on December 17, 2011 at 2:10 am
English: Black woman with a tattoo on her left...

Image via Wikipedia. Black woman with cool tattoo on shoulder. Sweet.

English: black woman with green eyes
Image via Wikipedia of cartoon sixties sista.

According to a (in my humble widdle opinion) lame piece in the Milwaukee Wisconsin Journal Sentinel online edition, black women might actually be unhappy and defensive about having to be unmarried more often than not and for longer than other women. Go figure!

In his piece the author states that Ralph Richard Banks‘ book “Is Marriage for White People?” has offended some, while causing others to acknowledge the simple fact that black women aren’t getting married like other women are because they’re being left in the dust statistically.

Of course, the author does not take a stand either way, just states that it can be controversial and a big deal to try to discuss the topic (you think!) and you’d better “tread lightly” lest you offend someone’s tender sensibilities (or inability to face reality).

Here’s a link to the piece discussing the “news” that black women just aint’ getting married in the numbers that other women get married at. Hmmm, I wonder why that could be. Well, we better not have an opinion lest someone not like it.

Dreams Do Discriminate: Racial Makeup Mimics Real Life

In News, Opinion on December 17, 2011 at 1:37 am
dramatic dream

Image by unNickrMe via Flickr. Nice dream state you got there.

According to a depressing piece in Live Science, discrimination rules the proverbial roost not only in reality but also in dreams, as people who face discrimination probably dream about it (as if living it out isn’t enough), and dreams actually adhere to racial makeups and segregation of areas….so if you live and work in a predominantly white enviornment and are black, well, you’re probably going to dream from the perspective of a black person being surrounded by white people who may or may not be particularly sympathetic toward your life and feelings.

CAL State Gives Lecture on Interrational Relationships

In News, Opinion on December 8, 2011 at 6:26 pm
Office of the Chancellor, California State Uni...

Image via Wikipedia. Office of the Chancellor, CAL State.

A brief piece ran in California State University‘s Daily Titan student newspaper about a female coordinator of their Womens’ Cultural Resource Center giving a talk on interracial relationships.

Interestingly, the woman is neither white nor black, but Latina (which is fine); and she reviews in her seminar the challenges and rewards involved in such dating and even touches on child-rearing. According to the piece, 73 percent of interracial dating revolved around black men and white women. But a tip of the brim for her for what she’s doing and maybe an idea that should be presented more regularly across the country.

Here’s the link:

Study/Shocker: Black Men More Likely to Date White Women Online

In News, Opinion on November 23, 2011 at 7:30 pm

Hopefully, you picked up on the slight tinge of sarcasm in my title there.

Look, although I’m a “white” man, I grew up surrounded by wonderful black people; including a biracial granny, a black best friend; the works. Never dated a white woman in my life, proudly married to a beautiful and intelligent and funny black woman.

But it does seem easier for black men to approach and date white women than it does for black women to even consider dating a non-black man, even after the “Is Marriage for White People?” book was released and soared to the top of most book sales lists. Some of this may be attributed just to the fact that it’s more socially acceptable (if not rewarded) for men of any ethnicity to be more assertive, aggressive, and “go getters” especially when it comes to dating and perceived “conquest.”

Amongst men, men period, a male who dates often and regularly is considered cool or admirable. A woman who dates often and regularly is not always seen in so positive a light. Certainly, there’s a dating double-standard going on.

There’s also tremendous, soul-crushing racial bias and discrimination at play throughout America to the point that I’d say racism is as American as apple pie and Uncle Sam and the whole Thanksgiving mythology. Men who are told it’s okay to be “go getters” are going to have an easier time “skiing the slopes” or adding “creme to the coffee” or whatever other metaphor you want to come up with than women who are not permitted to be as assertive.

Then you ad to that, the fact that black women are perceived to “owe” an allegiance to the perpetuation and continuation of the black “race” as a whole that their male counterparts do not have to swear to, and you’ve got some serious pressure.

Pointing at another person is aggressive and d...

Image via Wikipedia. I want YOU to date outside socially-acceptable norms!

If I look up “interracial couple” in Google images, I find mostly photos of black men with white women. There are not as many images of black women with white men on the whole. Google is a pretty popular search engine these days, so it’s a fair guess this image search would come up similarly if repeated in Yahoo or Bing. What’s my point? That “interracial dating” or “interracial couple” is largely a black man/white woman norm. And black women are either “sitting shiva,” dating with little statistical chance of marriage much less commitment (this ain’t just my observation but borne out over and over again through one news piece after another), or just living their lives.

At any rate, here’s a link to the original news story:

More Black Men Now in Prison System than Enslaved in 1850

In News on November 10, 2011 at 3:04 am
Barbed tape at a prison

Image via Wikipedia.

While white people across the country apparently ponder why things are just so bad for them, and why they’re the ones suffering the most discrimination and the most oppressed, something anybody with a functioning brain has known for a looong time has now been unearthed by Ohio State law professor Michelle Alexander; that Jim Crow is alive and well, and kicking, and funding a gigantic prison-industrial complex.

Ms. Alexander, the author of “The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness,” stated in a recent lecture at the Pasadena Main Library this past Wednesday, that “more African American men are in prison or jail, on probation or parole than were enslaved in 1850, before the Civil War began.”

Sadly, this statement is one I am ready to accept as fact, because it doesn’t surprise a whit, based on what I’ve seen growing up in the South, working as an educator, and probation officer. To say the prison-industrial complex is a huge source of revenue for so many millions of people (while victimizing so many disproportionately more) is akin to saying that Obama has been somewhat of a disappointment.

Here are the links to read more:

New Study Reveals Whites Feel More Discriminated Against Than Minorities

In News on November 10, 2011 at 2:42 am
No racism

Image via Wikipedia.

Now, before you hack up a lung laughing over this role reversal King of Ironies headline or your eyes pop out like you’ve just seen Freddy Krueger coming to get you, I’m not just generating this headline to get you to read it or to get some kind of page-click thing.

This is an actual news piece appearing in several new publications.

Yes, delusional whites across America, at least according to a pieces appearing in The London Telegraph, Disinfo.com, and other online and print sources, believe that they’d be so much better off if only they could get the “perks” associated with being a minority member in a predominantly white US society and culture.

Go figure where this kind of self-pitying paranoia originates, (I’d love to interview Cornell West on this). But there it is, like the two-headed snake discovered under a rock somewhere. Boy!

At any rate, according to a new study jointly commissioned and/or conducted by professors at Harvard and Tufts, white people in the US feel that they are in fact the true minority, the oppressed.

Whatever is going on, it seems like an interesting societal mass hallucinatory thing going on, that those who have the most and suffer the least, are discriminated against the least, feel the exact opposite.

Say no to racism!

Image by Daviniodus via Flickr.

The larger question, as plain as racism itself, is why and what’s going on to facilitate this? Is it a case of things getting so bad economically and in terms of seeing a viable future for us all that those on top and with the most are now feeling that the rug has been pulled out from under them, too, and are getting profoundly scared?

Or is it something else?

Here are links to the pieces:

Black Women’s Roundtable National Empowerment Tour Makes Final Stop in Georgia Before National Summit in D.C.

In News on November 6, 2011 at 5:50 pm

Image via Wikipedia. Don't know who this lovely sister is, but you have to admire that wig.

We’re just providing a little bit of (perhaps outdated) news here, to let readers know some of the positive and encouraging things many beautiful and intelligent black women are out there doing to make our society a better place to live and (try to) prosper.

This is a nice article from the reporters at PR Newswire, about black womens’ dedication to civic participation and where this one particular group is heading both in terms of their efforts and geographically in terms of where they’re visiting:

Whitest Man in America Discusses Book “Is Marriage for White People?”

In Entertainment on November 6, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Anderson Cooper, in all fairness, may not be the whitest man in America (there’s always Mitt Romney, but in all fairness, Mitt has the spray-on tan going on and dark hair on top), but he’s recently been brave enough to attempt to cover

Anderson Cooper visited Wolfson Children's Hos...

Image via Wikipedia. Smart-alecky comment still pending.

interracial dating and love on his “new” (??) television program.

On a recent episode, Anderson interviews Ralph Richard Banks, author of “Is Marriage for White People?” and (of course) requisite sisters who refuse to date outside their accepted social norms regardless of the facts Mr. Banks states clearly – that marriage rates among black women (regardless of education level or income) are very low, on and on. Anderson, of course, interviews a black manand a white woman (which is the most common form of interracial dating), and then goes back to other sisters who are offended by it.

Ralph Richard Banks

Image via Wikipedia.

Poor Mr. Banks, whom I’m starting to feel sorry for (evidently) just sits there, defending the premise of his book and all the angry, resentful illogical comments; while the facts remain the facts and nothing changes.

Personally, I’d love to Mr. Vanilla do a show on black women who love white men and are happily married, calm and mature, whether society at-large approves of them or not.

Here’s the link to Anderson Cooper’s program, which provides a brief preview of the show:


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