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Posts Tagged ‘Marriage’

Aisha Tyler Uses Interracial Marriage to Support Gay Marriage

In Entertainment, Opinion on January 12, 2012 at 5:47 am
English: Channing Tatum and Aisha Tyler at the...

Image via Wikipedia. Sistah Tyler.

Leave it to my sistah, Aisha Tyler, to think of using interracial marriage as a means by which to support gay marriage.

The argument is logical, natural and makes sense; so much so that it makes me wonder why nobody has ever used an ad campaign before to argue that gay marriage is as much as civil and human right as is interracial marriage.

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Should Black Women Walk Away from “Think Like a Man?”

In Movies, Opinion on December 24, 2011 at 6:18 pm
Image cropped from original on Flickr. Origina...

Image via Wikipedia. Steve Harvey displaying his watery blood-shot eyes and giant horse-teeth.

Umm..let me think about this question posed by the folks at Your Black World.com (http://www.yourblackworld.com/2011/12/14/ybw-question-of-the-day-do-you-plan-to-see-the-new-steve-harvey-film/) for about two seconds here.

Okay. Yes.

The question to me is not whether or not women should see this movie.

It’s a shallow question as to whether or not someone wants to see a formula sitcom movie with an attractive cast or if they have something more productive and enlightening to do with their time and/or want to save $15-$20 bucks for something else. The question should be, why is it not okay for women to actually think like, and be, women?

I don’t know Steve Harvey. Never met him. Never went to any of his shows. Saw him on “Kings of Comedy,” but didn’t laugh at his chitlin circuit jokes. Earthquake and Bruce Bruce were funnier in my humble estimation. And at least they were comedians and not trying to peddle themselves as self-help gurus pushing a meaningless and impossible to fulfill slogan on people.

When you tell women to “Think Like a Man,” you are also telling them that they’re not acceptable as they are. It’s not a cute slogan or catch phrase and it’s not funny. If I had a daughter who was told to “think like a man” by someone, I would tell that person to go talk a wandering stroll off a short Jersey pier somewhere. If someone said that to my wife, she’d tell that person to go set up a picnic in a busy intersection.

I have no reason to believe that Steve Harvey is an expert in relationships or marriage any more than the drunk down the hallway. He’s been divorced and re-married like many people these days, which is no big deal. He has an angry ex-wife (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzX2D0yfDUs) and brother (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvzGX1IHdrM), which kind of lead me to feel he must not know how to do that much better than most people from what I can see in terms of results.

“Thinking Like a Man” might have gotten Steve Harvey a bestseller and a movie deal and got him on talk shows he otherwise would never have been on, but it also got him a resentful ex-wife and brother, and some depressing movie reviews (http://jezebel.com/5867730/think-like-a-man-is-everything-that-is-wrong-with-the-world-and-will-make-you-want-to-stab-your-eyeballs-with-a-fork). The whole “Think Like a Man” concept is wrapped up in egotism and sexism; that women are not good enough and have to think like men in order to be happy. It sounds cute when we live in a shallow and materialistic time, but it’s nothing more than a hollow slogan and (to me) a ridiculous demand.

I say let black women think like women and let Steve Harvey go sell his supper club jokes, strip mall clothing line and whatever else he can hustle. Booyah!

Blacks Need to Reinvent Marriage

In Main Event, News, Opinion on December 24, 2011 at 5:50 pm
English: Iman and David Bowie at the 2009 Trib...

Image via Wikipedia. Does Iman know she's ain't supposed to be hanging with Bowie?

English: Robert De Niro and his wife Grace Hig...
Image via Wikipedia. What’s going on here with Bobby D?

According to Dalton Conley, a sociologist and dean of social sciences at New York University, author of “Elsewhere USA,” and writer/blogger for the great New York Times, black people in America need to “reinvent” the institution of marriage.

For many, Mr. Conley is merely stating the obvious, but as a credentialed and professional sociologist repeating what Ralph Richard Banks said in his bestseller “Is Marriage for White People?,” his opinion is just one more in a chorus of informed and educated professors stating that black women remain statistical outliers in terms of turning their backs on interracial marriage as a whole and as a practice while black men leave them en masse.

Of course it’s everyone’s individual right and choice to do with their lives as they please, and if black women in America as a whole wish to remain single that’s fine, as Tracee Ellis Ross said in a previous piece.

Anyway, here’s a direct link to that piece:

And here’s a brief redux of Ralph Richard Banks’ comments from his bestseller that’s ticked off so many people, but his comments nonetheless are fairly straightforward, factual, and devoid of opinion:

So, what is it that ticks off so many people? That Mr. Banks dares to state the obvious and thereby airs some kind of secret dirty laundry the masses shouldn’t talk about? Is it racism, stigma, or just resistance to logical suggestions at helpful change?

Debunking the Single Black Female Myth

In Opinion on December 17, 2011 at 2:10 am
English: Black woman with a tattoo on her left...

Image via Wikipedia. Black woman with cool tattoo on shoulder. Sweet.

English: black woman with green eyes
Image via Wikipedia of cartoon sixties sista.

According to a (in my humble widdle opinion) lame piece in the Milwaukee Wisconsin Journal Sentinel online edition, black women might actually be unhappy and defensive about having to be unmarried more often than not and for longer than other women. Go figure!

In his piece the author states that Ralph Richard Banks‘ book “Is Marriage for White People?” has offended some, while causing others to acknowledge the simple fact that black women aren’t getting married like other women are because they’re being left in the dust statistically.

Of course, the author does not take a stand either way, just states that it can be controversial and a big deal to try to discuss the topic (you think!) and you’d better “tread lightly” lest you offend someone’s tender sensibilities (or inability to face reality).

Here’s a link to the piece discussing the “news” that black women just aint’ getting married in the numbers that other women get married at. Hmmm, I wonder why that could be. Well, we better not have an opinion lest someone not like it.

According to Cornell Chronicle Race Plays a Role in Pacing of Some Romances

In News, Opinion on November 24, 2011 at 1:50 am
Interracial Couple

Image by mattradickal via Flickr.

The Cornell University Seal
Image via Wikipedia.

According to an interesting piece in Cornell University’s Chronicle news website, racial diversity plays a role in pacing of some romances; apparently increasing the speed of the romantic relationships’ evolution or development.

So, make of the study’s conclusions what you will, but it seems that one potential conclusion is that interracial romantic relationships develop faster than white-white ones for reasons not particularly clear.

Here’s a direct link to the article, but I have to admit to feeling that one prominant factor in this “pacing” issue might have more to do with maturity and personal development than ethnicity or status:

Whitest Man in America Discusses Book “Is Marriage for White People?”

In Entertainment on November 6, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Anderson Cooper, in all fairness, may not be the whitest man in America (there’s always Mitt Romney, but in all fairness, Mitt has the spray-on tan going on and dark hair on top), but he’s recently been brave enough to attempt to cover

Anderson Cooper visited Wolfson Children's Hos...

Image via Wikipedia. Smart-alecky comment still pending.

interracial dating and love on his “new” (??) television program.

On a recent episode, Anderson interviews Ralph Richard Banks, author of “Is Marriage for White People?” and (of course) requisite sisters who refuse to date outside their accepted social norms regardless of the facts Mr. Banks states clearly – that marriage rates among black women (regardless of education level or income) are very low, on and on. Anderson, of course, interviews a black manand a white woman (which is the most common form of interracial dating), and then goes back to other sisters who are offended by it.

Ralph Richard Banks

Image via Wikipedia.

Poor Mr. Banks, whom I’m starting to feel sorry for (evidently) just sits there, defending the premise of his book and all the angry, resentful illogical comments; while the facts remain the facts and nothing changes.

Personally, I’d love to Mr. Vanilla do a show on black women who love white men and are happily married, calm and mature, whether society at-large approves of them or not.

Here’s the link to Anderson Cooper’s program, which provides a brief preview of the show:

 

TV’s First Interracial Kiss

In Main Event on October 30, 2011 at 10:39 pm
Actress Nichelle Nichols

Image via Wikipedia

I was surprised recently rummaging through the topic of television’s first interracial kiss on YouTube.com, when I cam across two videos answering this question.

I’d thought that like “the shat,” that that first symbolic romantic lip-lock would’ve come much earlier than it did…but I guess I wasn’t all surprised that the man who would “do” the proverbial “deed” would be none other than the same man who would later jump (literally) on top of a green-skinned woman.

One video gives you the male perspective, and the other is the woman’s perspective on the taboo-shattering event.

It should be pretty obvious that the man was now-75+ William Shatner and the woman was/is Nichelle Nichols. It’s somewhat interesting that to “shat,” the event was no big deal and to Nichols it was much more stressful apparently. Maybe that had to do with Shatner being the “Captain” of the ship so to speak.

Book on Interracial Marriage Continues to Confound

In Main Event, Opinion on September 28, 2011 at 4:05 pm
Ralph Richard Banks

Image via Wikipedia. Ralph Richard Banks, author of the book that's pretty much accepted knowledge, but sistas seem to be in disagreement with, regardless. Is he wrong to ask black women to be more open-minded? What if this cat were white/caucasian?

Stanford law professor Ralph Richard Banks‘ book advocating interracial marriage, Is Marriage for White People?: How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone, unsurprisingly continues to stir up much-needed (albeit superficial and ultimately pointless) debate.

Rather than causing any kind of cultural mass discussions (such as a serious roundtable discussion hosted by someone like Tavis Smiley or Dr. Cornel West), we have an infinite number of bloggers (present company excluded) refusing to read the book (http://www.urbanfaith.com/2011/09/the-intermarriage-solution.html/), debating the book’s legitimacy or perspective (http://www.collegeadmission.com/elect/app/app?service=external/Forum&sp=35999), feeling besieged (http://www.blackvoicenews.com/news/news-wire/46823-successful-black-marriages-besieged-on-all-sides-say-advocates.html), resentful (http://www.kansascity.com/2011/09/20/3156218/black-women-and-the-angst-over.html); all of them pretty much gauging an already-sore eye in the face of the blatant fact that black women continue to strive forward with a mathematically diminishing return “on investment” so to speak.

This is not to deny in any way the effects of institutionalized racism in American culture, which is as much a part of America (at this point) as iconic imagery of Uncle Sam and the proverbial apple pie; but to debate the clear disparity in marriage equality and marriage pools available while the problem continues along its course unabated…seems, well, saddening and unnecessary and devoid of simple reason.

Obviously, an online magazine called Interrace is not going to be against interracial marriage or dating; so we stand in favor of it. But we’re also in favor of equality across the board. So, if it’s alright for virtually every other ethnic/racial group to intermarry, why is this an issue for black women? Or is it not an issue at all? If we go by the general majority of reactions to Ralph Richard Banks’ little ditty, black women ain’t havin’ no cream in their coffee, whether the cream likes to coffee or not.

The disparities and scenarios the author presents seem fairly sound and recognized, and the ultimate situation is pretty much agreed upon; so why does there appear to be a general rejection or surprise over the book and the author’s conclusion?

Almost All Millennials Accept Interracial Dating and Marriage

In Main Event, News, Opinion on August 17, 2011 at 7:00 pm
Ethnic composition of Muslim Americans, accord...

Image via Wikipedia. This nice little colorful pie chart may or may not accurately reflect the research data. Just looks cool.

According to the good folks at the Pew Research Center, interracial dating and marriage is not a big deal to “millennials.”

Here’s a direct link to their piece, dated Feb. 1, 2010:

http://pewresearch.org/pubs/1480/millennials-accept-iinterracial-dating-marriage-friends-different-race-generations

Which Ethnic Groups are Most Accepting of Interracial Marriages?

In Main Event, News, Opinion on August 17, 2011 at 6:54 pm
Iman and David Bowie at the 2009 Tribeca Film ...

Image via Wikipedia. Interracial marriage seems to have worked pretty well for these two cool cats.

Here’s a link to an interesting piece by Kyle A. Hill, dated June 1, 2011, that appeared in the Kaleazy website, which is a “multidisciplinary design firm,” regarding, guess what, which ethnic groups are supposedly most accepting of interracial marriages.

What’s the gist of this article? How accurate (or inaccurate) is it? Does it make any broad, sweeping generalizations?

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