Hopefully, you picked up on the slight tinge of sarcasm in my title there.
Look, although I’m a “white” man, I grew up surrounded by wonderful black people; including a biracial granny, a black best friend; the works. Never dated a white woman in my life, proudly married to a beautiful and intelligent and funny black woman.
But it does seem easier for black men to approach and date white women than it does for black women to even consider dating a non-black man, even after the “Is Marriage for White People?” book was released and soared to the top of most book sales lists. Some of this may be attributed just to the fact that it’s more socially acceptable (if not rewarded) for men of any ethnicity to be more assertive, aggressive, and “go getters” especially when it comes to dating and perceived “conquest.”
Amongst men, men period, a male who dates often and regularly is considered cool or admirable. A woman who dates often and regularly is not always seen in so positive a light. Certainly, there’s a dating double-standard going on.
There’s also tremendous, soul-crushing racial bias and discrimination at play throughout America to the point that I’d say racism is as American as apple pie and Uncle Sam and the whole Thanksgiving mythology. Men who are told it’s okay to be “go getters” are going to have an easier time “skiing the slopes” or adding “creme to the coffee” or whatever other metaphor you want to come up with than women who are not permitted to be as assertive.
Then you ad to that, the fact that black women are perceived to “owe” an allegiance to the perpetuation and continuation of the black “race” as a whole that their male counterparts do not have to swear to, and you’ve got some serious pressure.
If I look up “interracial couple” in Google images, I find mostly photos of black men with white women. There are not as many images of black women with white men on the whole. Google is a pretty popular search engine these days, so it’s a fair guess this image search would come up similarly if repeated in Yahoo or Bing. What’s my point? That “interracial dating” or “interracial couple” is largely a black man/white woman norm. And black women are either “sitting shiva,” dating with little statistical chance of marriage much less commitment (this ain’t just my observation but borne out over and over again through one news piece after another), or just living their lives.
At any rate, here’s a link to the original news story:
- Study reveals racial segregation in online dating (thegrio.com)
- For Profit: Black Women……..A Rant (creativelybrownone.wordpress.com)
- Is Marriage For White People (theratedt.com)
- Are Black Men Complicit in Black Women’s Obesity? (socyberty.com)