The argument is logical, natural and makes sense; so much so that it makes me wonder why nobody has ever used an ad campaign before to argue that gay marriage is as much as civil and human right as is interracial marriage.
Image via Wikipedia. Wouldn't it be great if this is what people did before they spoke?
From the (I’m assuming) good folks at PsychCentral, there’s a recent post by psychologist and family counselor Dr. Marie Hartwell-Walker addressing a concerned teenager in an interracial relationship, and surprise surprise, saddled with disapproving parents.
While I can’t disagree with Dr. Hartwell-Walker’s measured and logical response, I kind of wish she’d told the young teenage eighth grader to tell her parents that she’d date whomever she liked and would theretofore establish her own independence as a young woman.
But I guess that might be why I’m not a therapist like Dr. Hartwell-Walker.
Maybe white men could never “satisfy” black women one blogger postulates, or would all “white boys” be nerdy goofballs asked another woman, or could they turn out to be stalkers asked comedienne Sommore (in at least one of her concert films and the rom-com “Something New“), or could white guys not be “tough”enough to protect you asked yet another.
Cover of Something New (Widescreen Edition). Uh-oh...what will her girlfriends think?
Now, obviously, on the matter of interracial dating, we’re definitely for it, but it ultimately comes down to an issue of emotional maturity.
How much of your “free will” is determined by over-bearing parents, society, religious organizations or institutions, peer pressure, or fear of the new and different? To what extent do you as an individual want to be in a mutually-loving relationship and how does that weigh against being approved of by others?
If a man (or woman) doesn’t want to commit or take you seriously or won’t pay bills or cheats, it won’t matter whether they’re a taste of cocoa or some smooth vanilla creme. It’s time to motor.
And if you’re open to diversity, than you have a wider selection to choose from, a larger dating pool, and mathematically a greater chance at finding the type of person who will clip your toenails, make breakfast for both of you, and make you happy in other ways.
So, at any rate, it was difficult for me not to feel at least a tad better (after wading through all that internet dross material), when I came upon this article on (at least some) legitimate reasons for black women to be more open-minded when considering whether or not to date white men (yes, men).
Image via Wikipedia. Ralph Richard Banks, author of the book that's pretty much accepted knowledge, but sistas seem to be in disagreement with, regardless. Is he wrong to ask black women to be more open-minded? What if this cat were white/caucasian?
Stanford law professor Ralph Richard Banks‘ book advocating interracial marriage, Is Marriage for White People?: How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone, unsurprisingly continues to stir up much-needed (albeit superficial and ultimately pointless) debate.
This is not to deny in any way the effects of institutionalized racism in American culture, which is as much a part of America (at this point) as iconic imagery of Uncle Sam and the proverbial apple pie; but to debate the clear disparity in marriage equality and marriage pools available while the problem continues along its course unabated…seems, well, saddening and unnecessary and devoid of simple reason.
Obviously, an online magazine called Interrace is not going to be against interracial marriage or dating; so we stand in favor of it. But we’re also in favor of equality across the board. So, if it’s alright for virtually every other ethnic/racial group to intermarry, why is this an issue for black women? Or is it not an issue at all? If we go by the general majority of reactions to Ralph Richard Banks’ little ditty, black women ain’t havin’ no cream in their coffee, whether the cream likes to coffee or not.
The disparities and scenarios the author presents seem fairly sound and recognized, and the ultimate situation is pretty much agreed upon; so why does there appear to be a general rejection or surprise over the book and the author’s conclusion?
Image via Wikipedia. Hey, he DOES have a good voice.
Well, well, well, Askmen.com has an interesting little article on interracial dating, featuring a kind of creepy photography of Heidi Klum recoiling from Seal as he tries to kiss her.
Anyway, the article written by Dr. Wendy Walsh, proposes that a woman’s “special monthly” cycle (that men cannot fathom) influences how she is attracted (or not) to men outside of her “racial” boundary lines.
I guess that means in lay terms, that if a woman is in a particularly foaming-at-the-mouth, I’d-like-to-punch-your-face-through-the-other-side-of-your-head moment, she may feel like dealing with male harassment? Or adhering (or breaking from) socially-acceptable norms?
Your humble El Jefe has his own views on the matter, but far be it for moi to try to influence your emotional and spiritual peregrinations, friends. Read the piece and let me know if it makes sense to you.
Image via Wikipedia. Gabrielle Union starred in the unwatchable "Neo Ned," an "interracial romance film" about a skinhead guy who falls for a black woman who believes she is the reincarnation of Adolph Hitler, while sharing time in an asylum. And no, it's not a comedy.
Wikipedia has a page listed that details (at least some) interracial romance films. How accurate or complete is this list? How good are these movies? I can’t say. Certainly I only attest to the quality of the films that I’ve actually seen.
I tried to give Gabrielle Union (who used to work as a shoe store clerk before hitting the big time) the benefit of the doubt and watch “Neo Ned,” but the premise of a white skinhead guy falling in love with a sistah who believes she is the risen reincarnation of Hitler who meet and fall madly in love while in an insane asylum was a bit much to swallow, much less get excited about. I call it the “ho-hum” effect.
I love Samuel L. Jackson’s films, but could I honestly call “Lakeview Terrace” an interracial romance film? Hardly. It’ s more of a racist maniac-cop-terrorizes-stable- interracial-couple movie, than a pleasant romcom. And he doesn’t even yell “motherf***er” once.
Meanwhile, the already-dated “Something New,” (starring Sanaa Lathan and the Australian “hunkey” guy from “The Mentalist” TV show), had talented actors, occasionally clever scripting, attractive locales and a decent script, (although, yes, the ending was a bit hokey).
Interracial marriage worked just fine for this secure couple.
Let us know what you think of this list. Perhaps we can compile a more comprehensive list, and add some sort of review system to it as well.
Whenever I read the term “marrying out,” it always makes me think of ordering out. I guess if you can’t get what you’d normally get at home, you have to pick up the cell and “marry out.”
How much of societal stress and pressure over interracial dating and marriage is about finding what society accepts as norm and how much of this is about finding a loving partner, regardless of race or ethnicity?
Let us know your thoughts.
Here’s a link to this brief piece from the website HispanicOhio.com, by Jeffrey Passel, Wendy Wang, and Paul Taylor:
Interrace Today.com is the new home of Interrace Magazine and remains the internet's only website for interracial and multicultural news, resources, help and support resources, interracial and multicultural shopping, classifieds, business listings and much more.