Who Loves You, Baby?

Posts Tagged ‘Ralph Richard Banks’

Neo-Soul Artist LadyBoss Responds to Michael Jordan Marrying White Cuban

In News, Opinion on January 5, 2012 at 8:20 pm
English: Chicago Bulls. Michael Jordan 1997

Image via Wikipedia. Jordan back in the day.Where the white women at?

Well, you can very well expect Michelle Obama to say anything publicly about the trend of black men leaving black women en masse, can you? So, it’s nice that at least LadyBoss, (God Bless her) is going it alone in defending black women as beautiful, worthy, and deserving of love; in a culture still steeped in institutionalized racism.

Much of this current blogging is a result of Michael Jordan announcing his engagement to Cuban model (who looks like she could be half his age or less) Yvette Prieto. Yes, Jordan is old enough to be somebody’s gramps (and we’re sure he is gramps to several kids running around out there by now), but Prieto can pretty much bank the Brinks truck up to her back door now and will certainly never have to worry about every having to work again.

And it’s yet another high-profile black man turning his back on black women in general and choosing to marry “outside his race,” while statistically black women may or may not even know it’s happening. (And of course they know it’s happening. I’m referring to statistics that were cited by Ralph Richard Banks and others repeatedly that black women can date outside their race or sit around and wait for their fantasy man who either ain’t coming or wants to date some white chicks first before calling them).

Yeah, Jordan ain’t all that, but he was once a great athlete and he’s worth enough moola to make him still a major heavyweight in celebrity terms, so for all the kids who idolize him and for anyone looking up to him, he’s irregardless sending a not-too-subtle message that he prefers non-black women.

So, kudos to LadyBoss for having the guts to say Jordan can have a New York salute and that black women still got it going on:

A Look at Why Interracial Relationships Are Expected to Be Between Black Men and White Women

In Opinion on January 2, 2012 at 6:00 am

This is an interesting piece on why interracial relationships (or just the term “interracial” alone) conjures up images of black men and white women.

Certainly, it’s true that if you Google the term “interracial” in Google Images, most images will be of black men and white women; and I think part of this is simply because most interracial relationships are between black men and white women. Another part of this seeming puzzle, is that Ralph Richard Banks (author of the much-piloried bestseller “Is Marriage for White People?”) is correct in his reasoning that interracial relationships between black women and white men simply are not occurring at any kind of statistical significance. Statistically, black women are “sitting shiva,” while their mirror opposite in the dating realm takes the lead role in real life, mass media, and apparently public perception.

This piece from BlackYouthProject.com suggests that part of the reason public perception toward interracial relationships (more prominently romantic ones) focus on black men and white women is that mass media depicts images of black men that are positive and upbeat while images of black women in mass media are mostly negative or denigrating.

While it’s encouraging to see black women kicking butt in films such as “Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol” and the upcoming James Bond flick (where Ms. Moneypennybecome a gun-toting sista who can hold her own with 007), it’s also true that positive and uplifting imagery of black wome

Two women wearing bandanas, 1999.

Image via Wikipedia.

n in mass media dwarf compared to those of black males. So, yeah, I agree with their point, but feel that it’s also just the tip of the proverbial ice-berg.

Here’s their insightful piece:

Blacks Need to Reinvent Marriage

In Main Event, News, Opinion on December 24, 2011 at 5:50 pm
English: Iman and David Bowie at the 2009 Trib...

Image via Wikipedia. Does Iman know she's ain't supposed to be hanging with Bowie?

English: Robert De Niro and his wife Grace Hig...
Image via Wikipedia. What’s going on here with Bobby D?

According to Dalton Conley, a sociologist and dean of social sciences at New York University, author of “Elsewhere USA,” and writer/blogger for the great New York Times, black people in America need to “reinvent” the institution of marriage.

For many, Mr. Conley is merely stating the obvious, but as a credentialed and professional sociologist repeating what Ralph Richard Banks said in his bestseller “Is Marriage for White People?,” his opinion is just one more in a chorus of informed and educated professors stating that black women remain statistical outliers in terms of turning their backs on interracial marriage as a whole and as a practice while black men leave them en masse.

Of course it’s everyone’s individual right and choice to do with their lives as they please, and if black women in America as a whole wish to remain single that’s fine, as Tracee Ellis Ross said in a previous piece.

Anyway, here’s a direct link to that piece:

And here’s a brief redux of Ralph Richard Banks’ comments from his bestseller that’s ticked off so many people, but his comments nonetheless are fairly straightforward, factual, and devoid of opinion:

So, what is it that ticks off so many people? That Mr. Banks dares to state the obvious and thereby airs some kind of secret dirty laundry the masses shouldn’t talk about? Is it racism, stigma, or just resistance to logical suggestions at helpful change?

Debunking the Single Black Female Myth

In Opinion on December 17, 2011 at 2:10 am
English: Black woman with a tattoo on her left...

Image via Wikipedia. Black woman with cool tattoo on shoulder. Sweet.

English: black woman with green eyes
Image via Wikipedia of cartoon sixties sista.

According to a (in my humble widdle opinion) lame piece in the Milwaukee Wisconsin Journal Sentinel online edition, black women might actually be unhappy and defensive about having to be unmarried more often than not and for longer than other women. Go figure!

In his piece the author states that Ralph Richard Banks‘ book “Is Marriage for White People?” has offended some, while causing others to acknowledge the simple fact that black women aren’t getting married like other women are because they’re being left in the dust statistically.

Of course, the author does not take a stand either way, just states that it can be controversial and a big deal to try to discuss the topic (you think!) and you’d better “tread lightly” lest you offend someone’s tender sensibilities (or inability to face reality).

Here’s a link to the piece discussing the “news” that black women just aint’ getting married in the numbers that other women get married at. Hmmm, I wonder why that could be. Well, we better not have an opinion lest someone not like it.

Whitest Man in America Discusses Book “Is Marriage for White People?”

In Entertainment on November 6, 2011 at 5:11 pm

Anderson Cooper, in all fairness, may not be the whitest man in America (there’s always Mitt Romney, but in all fairness, Mitt has the spray-on tan going on and dark hair on top), but he’s recently been brave enough to attempt to cover

Anderson Cooper visited Wolfson Children's Hos...

Image via Wikipedia. Smart-alecky comment still pending.

interracial dating and love on his “new” (??) television program.

On a recent episode, Anderson interviews Ralph Richard Banks, author of “Is Marriage for White People?” and (of course) requisite sisters who refuse to date outside their accepted social norms regardless of the facts Mr. Banks states clearly – that marriage rates among black women (regardless of education level or income) are very low, on and on. Anderson, of course, interviews a black manand a white woman (which is the most common form of interracial dating), and then goes back to other sisters who are offended by it.

Ralph Richard Banks

Image via Wikipedia.

Poor Mr. Banks, whom I’m starting to feel sorry for (evidently) just sits there, defending the premise of his book and all the angry, resentful illogical comments; while the facts remain the facts and nothing changes.

Personally, I’d love to Mr. Vanilla do a show on black women who love white men and are happily married, calm and mature, whether society at-large approves of them or not.

Here’s the link to Anderson Cooper’s program, which provides a brief preview of the show:

 

Should Black Women Date White Men?

In Opinion on October 5, 2011 at 5:39 pm

Just imbibing the morning energy drink(less acid than your typical cup of joe

Cans of XTC.

Image via Wikipedia.

and actually more affordable) and checking out some random blogs, reading through all kinds of online “foolishness and mayhem,” (to quote Niecy Nash), on the topic of interracial dating, interracial marriage, bi-racial children, and so forth.

Maybe white men could never “satisfy” black women one blogger postulates, or would all “white boys” be nerdy goofballs asked another woman, or could they turn out to be stalkers asked comedienne Sommore (in at least one of her concert films and the rom-comSomething New“), or could white guys not be “tough”enough to protect you asked yet another.

Cover of "Something New (Widescreen Editi...

Cover of Something New (Widescreen Edition). Uh-oh...what will her girlfriends think?

Just as I’m preparing to begin checking out the typical roster of corporate “news” media sites, I chance upon a piece in the LA Times by Ms. Sandy Banks, the sister of the gentleman who recently penned the bestseller “Is Marriage for White People?” Her piece is reasonable and balanced -http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-1008-banks-20111008,0,6813163.column?page=1

Now, obviously, on the matter of interracial dating, we’re definitely for it, but it ultimately comes down to an issue of emotional maturity.

How much of your “free will” is determined by over-bearing parents, society, religious organizations or institutions, peer pressure, or fear of the new and different? To what extent do you as an individual want to be in a mutually-loving relationship and how does that weigh against being approved of by others?

If a man (or woman) doesn’t want to commit or take you seriously or won’t pay bills or cheats, it won’t matter whether they’re a taste of cocoa or some smooth vanilla creme. It’s time to motor.

And if you’re open to diversity, than you have a wider selection to choose from, a larger dating pool, and mathematically a greater chance at finding the type of person who will clip your toenails, make breakfast for both of you, and make you happy in other ways.

So, at any rate, it was difficult for me not to feel at least a tad better (after wading through all that internet dross material), when I came upon this article on (at least some) legitimate reasons for black women to be more open-minded when considering whether or not to date white men (yes, men).

Here’s the link:

Book on Interracial Marriage Continues to Confound

In Main Event, Opinion on September 28, 2011 at 4:05 pm
Ralph Richard Banks

Image via Wikipedia. Ralph Richard Banks, author of the book that's pretty much accepted knowledge, but sistas seem to be in disagreement with, regardless. Is he wrong to ask black women to be more open-minded? What if this cat were white/caucasian?

Stanford law professor Ralph Richard Banks‘ book advocating interracial marriage, Is Marriage for White People?: How the African American Marriage Decline Affects Everyone, unsurprisingly continues to stir up much-needed (albeit superficial and ultimately pointless) debate.

Rather than causing any kind of cultural mass discussions (such as a serious roundtable discussion hosted by someone like Tavis Smiley or Dr. Cornel West), we have an infinite number of bloggers (present company excluded) refusing to read the book (http://www.urbanfaith.com/2011/09/the-intermarriage-solution.html/), debating the book’s legitimacy or perspective (http://www.collegeadmission.com/elect/app/app?service=external/Forum&sp=35999), feeling besieged (http://www.blackvoicenews.com/news/news-wire/46823-successful-black-marriages-besieged-on-all-sides-say-advocates.html), resentful (http://www.kansascity.com/2011/09/20/3156218/black-women-and-the-angst-over.html); all of them pretty much gauging an already-sore eye in the face of the blatant fact that black women continue to strive forward with a mathematically diminishing return “on investment” so to speak.

This is not to deny in any way the effects of institutionalized racism in American culture, which is as much a part of America (at this point) as iconic imagery of Uncle Sam and the proverbial apple pie; but to debate the clear disparity in marriage equality and marriage pools available while the problem continues along its course unabated…seems, well, saddening and unnecessary and devoid of simple reason.

Obviously, an online magazine called Interrace is not going to be against interracial marriage or dating; so we stand in favor of it. But we’re also in favor of equality across the board. So, if it’s alright for virtually every other ethnic/racial group to intermarry, why is this an issue for black women? Or is it not an issue at all? If we go by the general majority of reactions to Ralph Richard Banks’ little ditty, black women ain’t havin’ no cream in their coffee, whether the cream likes to coffee or not.

The disparities and scenarios the author presents seem fairly sound and recognized, and the ultimate situation is pretty much agreed upon; so why does there appear to be a general rejection or surprise over the book and the author’s conclusion?

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 46 other followers

%d bloggers like this: